Maxioms Pet

X
Share to:

You May Also Like   /   View all maxioms

  ( comments )
  25  /  20  

One thing kids like is to be tricked. For instance, I was going to take my little nephew to Disneyland, read more

One thing kids like is to be tricked. For instance, I was going to take my little nephew to Disneyland, but instead I drove him to an old burned-out warehouse. 'Oh, no,' I said, 'Disneyland burned down.' He cried and cried, but I think that deep down he thought it was a pretty good joke. I started to drive over to the real Disneyland, but it was getting pretty late.

by Jack Handey Found in: Humor Quotes,
Share to:
  ( comments )
  19  /  34  

If they ever come up with a swashbuckling School, I think one of the courses should be Laughing, Then Jumping read more

If they ever come up with a swashbuckling School, I think one of the courses should be Laughing, Then Jumping Off Something.

  ( comments )
  24  /  24  

Once while walking through the mall a guy came up to me and said, 'Hey, how's it going?' So I read more

Once while walking through the mall a guy came up to me and said, 'Hey, how's it going?' So I grabbed his arm and twisted it up behind his head and said 'Now who's asking the questions?'

by Jack Handey Found in: Humor Quotes,
Share to:
  ( comments )
  31  /  24  

The gods too are fond of a joke.

The gods too are fond of a joke.

by Edward Albee Found in: Humor Quotes,
Share to:
  ( comments )
  26  /  21  

Humor is something that thrives between man's aspirations and his limitations. There is more logic in humor than in anything read more

Humor is something that thrives between man's aspirations and his limitations. There is more logic in humor than in anything else. Because, you see, humor is truth.

by Victor Borge Found in: Humor Quotes,
Share to:
  ( comments )
  26  /  13  

In the end, everything is a gag.

In the end, everything is a gag.

by Thomas Carlyle Found in: Humor Quotes,
Share to:
  ( comments )
  20  /  29  

If you could choose one characteristic that would get you through life, choose a sense of humor.

If you could choose one characteristic that would get you through life, choose a sense of humor.

by Jennifer Jones Found in: Humor Quotes,
Share to:
  ( comments )
  23  /  15  

I said that Sean Hannity took residence up Newt Gingrich's
butt from 94 to 98. I got that from British read more

I said that Sean Hannity took residence up Newt Gingrich's
butt from 94 to 98. I got that from British intelligence.
It turns out he only took up residence in 95.

by Al Franken Found in: Humor Quotes,
Share to:
  ( comments )
  26  /  20  

Miss Piggy to Johnny Carson
.. do you think I am Oscar material?
Johnny Carson: Oscar Mayer maybe
NBC Tonight read more

Miss Piggy to Johnny Carson
.. do you think I am Oscar material?
Johnny Carson: Oscar Mayer maybe
NBC Tonight Show writers
http://www.mad-cow.org.

Maxioms Web Pet