It is a curious fact that people are never so trivial as when they take themselves seriously.

It is a curious fact that people are never so trivial as when they take themselves seriously.

I wish outer space guys would conquer the Earth and make people their pets, because I'd like to have one read more

I wish outer space guys would conquer the Earth and make people their pets, because I'd like to have one of those little beds with my name on it.

If you could choose one characteristic that would get you through life, choose a sense of humor.

If you could choose one characteristic that would get you through life, choose a sense of humor.

I never dare to write
As funny as I can.

I never dare to write
As funny as I can.

Humor is mankind's greatest blessing.

Humor is mankind's greatest blessing.

With the fearful strain that is on me night and day, if I did not laugh I should die.

With the fearful strain that is on me night and day, if I did not laugh I should die.

If you ever catch on fire, try to avoid looking in a mirror, because I bet that will really throw read more

If you ever catch on fire, try to avoid looking in a mirror, because I bet that will really throw you into a panic.

If you're robbing a bank and you're pants fall down, I think it's okay to laugh and to let the read more

If you're robbing a bank and you're pants fall down, I think it's okay to laugh and to let the hostages laugh too, because, come on, life is funny.

My mother was awarded the Serbian medal of freedom
for raising 3 dysfunctional Croatian sons.

My mother was awarded the Serbian medal of freedom
for raising 3 dysfunctional Croatian sons.