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Don't sweat the petty things and don't pet the sweaty things
Don't sweat the petty things and don't pet the sweaty things
The test of a real comedian is whether you laugh at him before he opens his mouth.
The test of a real comedian is whether you laugh at him before he opens his mouth.
I've always been very zealous about not invading other people's private spaces.
I've always been very zealous about not invading other people's private spaces.
Sometimes when I feel like killing someone, I do a little trick to calm myself down. I'll go over to read more
Sometimes when I feel like killing someone, I do a little trick to calm myself down. I'll go over to the person's house and ring the doorbell. When the person comes to the door, I'm gone, but you know what I've left on the porch? A jack-o-lantern with a knife stuck in the side of its head with a note that says 'You.' After that I usually feel a lot better, and no harm done.
Nothing shows a man's character more than what he laughs at.
Nothing shows a man's character more than what he laughs at.
Anybody with a sense of humor is going to put on my album and laugh from beginning to end.
Anybody with a sense of humor is going to put on my album and laugh from beginning to end.
A sense of humor is the ability to understand a joke - and that the joke is oneself.
A sense of humor is the ability to understand a joke - and that the joke is oneself.
A person reveals his character by nothing so clearly as the joke he resents.
A person reveals his character by nothing so clearly as the joke he resents.
