The world is a tragedy to those who feel, but a comedy to those who think.

The world is a tragedy to those who feel, but a comedy to those who think.

Never under any circumstances take a sleeping pill and a laxative on the same night

Never under any circumstances take a sleeping pill and a laxative on the same night

If you could choose one characteristic that would get you through life, choose a sense of humor.

If you could choose one characteristic that would get you through life, choose a sense of humor.

It is a curious fact that people are never so trivial as when they take themselves seriously.

It is a curious fact that people are never so trivial as when they take themselves seriously.

Humor is something that thrives between man's aspirations and his limitations. There is more logic in humor than in anything read more

Humor is something that thrives between man's aspirations and his limitations. There is more logic in humor than in anything else. Because, you see, humor is truth.

Men show their character in nothing more clearly than by what they find laughable.

Men show their character in nothing more clearly than by what they find laughable.

I never dare to write
As funny as I can.

I never dare to write
As funny as I can.

I said that Sean Hannity took residence up Newt Gingrich's
butt from 94 to 98. I got that from British read more

I said that Sean Hannity took residence up Newt Gingrich's
butt from 94 to 98. I got that from British intelligence.
It turns out he only took up residence in 95.

I think a good gift for the President would be a chocolate revolver…and since he is so busy, you'd probably read more

I think a good gift for the President would be a chocolate revolver…and since he is so busy, you'd probably have to run up to him real quick and give it to him.