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Americans are pragmatic, relatively uncomplicated, hearty and given to broad humor.
Americans are pragmatic, relatively uncomplicated, hearty and given to broad humor.
I said that Sean Hannity took residence up Newt Gingrich's
butt from 94 to 98. I got that from British read more
I said that Sean Hannity took residence up Newt Gingrich's
butt from 94 to 98. I got that from British intelligence.
It turns out he only took up residence in 95.
I love to go to the schoolyard and watch the children jump and scream, but they don't know I'm using read more
I love to go to the schoolyard and watch the children jump and scream, but they don't know I'm using blanks.
A good way to threaten somebody is to light a stick of dynamite. Then you call the guy and hold read more
A good way to threaten somebody is to light a stick of dynamite. Then you call the guy and hold the burning fuse up to the phone. 'Hear that?' you say, 'That's dynamite, baby.'
If I lived back in the wild west days, instead of carrying a six-gun in my holster, I'd carry a read more
If I lived back in the wild west days, instead of carrying a six-gun in my holster, I'd carry a soldering iron. That way, if some smart-aleck cowboy said something like 'Hey, look. He's carrying a soldering iron!' and started laughing, and everybody else started laughing, I could just say, 'That's right, it's a soldering iron. The soldering iron of justice.' Then everybody would get real quiet and ashamed, because they had made fun of the soldering iron of justice.
That is the best -- to laugh with someone because you think the same things are funny.
That is the best -- to laugh with someone because you think the same things are funny.
The world is a tragedy to those who feel, but a comedy to those who think.
The world is a tragedy to those who feel, but a comedy to those who think.
If you're robbing a bank and you're pants fall down, I think it's okay to laugh and to let the read more
If you're robbing a bank and you're pants fall down, I think it's okay to laugh and to let the hostages laugh too, because, come on, life is funny.
