The satirist shoots to kill while the humorist brings his prey back alive and eventually releases him again for another read more

The satirist shoots to kill while the humorist brings his prey back alive and eventually releases him again for another chance.

Humore is an affirmation of man's dignity, a declaration of man's superiority to all that befalls him.

Humore is an affirmation of man's dignity, a declaration of man's superiority to all that befalls him.

Life does not cease to be funny when people die any more than it ceases to be serious when people read more

Life does not cease to be funny when people die any more than it ceases to be serious when people laugh.

If I lived back in the wild west days, instead of carrying a six-gun in my holster, I'd carry a read more

If I lived back in the wild west days, instead of carrying a six-gun in my holster, I'd carry a soldering iron. That way, if some smart-aleck cowboy said something like 'Hey, look. He's carrying a soldering iron!' and started laughing, and everybody else started laughing, I could just say, 'That's right, it's a soldering iron. The soldering iron of justice.' Then everybody would get real quiet and ashamed, because they had made fun of the soldering iron of justice.

Humor is mankind's greatest blessing.

Humor is mankind's greatest blessing.

If you want anything done well, do it yourself. This is why most people laugh at their own jokes.

If you want anything done well, do it yourself. This is why most people laugh at their own jokes.

Never under any circumstances take a sleeping pill and a laxative on the same night

Never under any circumstances take a sleeping pill and a laxative on the same night

If they ever come up with a swashbuckling School, I think one of the courses should be Laughing, Then Jumping read more

If they ever come up with a swashbuckling School, I think one of the courses should be Laughing, Then Jumping Off Something.

If you're robbing a bank and you're pants fall down, I think it's okay to laugh and to let the read more

If you're robbing a bank and you're pants fall down, I think it's okay to laugh and to let the hostages laugh too, because, come on, life is funny.