Common sense and a sense of humor are the same thing, moving at different speeds. A sense of humor is read more

Common sense and a sense of humor are the same thing, moving at different speeds. A sense of humor is just common sense, dancing.

The ability to quote is a serviceable substitute for wit.

The ability to quote is a serviceable substitute for wit.

Humore is an affirmation of man's dignity, a declaration of man's superiority to all that befalls him.

Humore is an affirmation of man's dignity, a declaration of man's superiority to all that befalls him.

A good way to threaten somebody is to light a stick of dynamite. Then you call the guy and hold read more

A good way to threaten somebody is to light a stick of dynamite. Then you call the guy and hold the burning fuse up to the phone. 'Hear that?' you say, 'That's dynamite, baby.'

I never dare to write
As funny as I can.

I never dare to write
As funny as I can.

I am no longer a curmudgeon.
I am a curmudgeon emeritus.

I am no longer a curmudgeon.
I am a curmudgeon emeritus.

Time flies like an arrow.
Fruit flies like a banana.

Time flies like an arrow.
Fruit flies like a banana.

If I had no sense of humor, I would long ago have committed suicide.

If I had no sense of humor, I would long ago have committed suicide.

My mother was awarded the Serbian medal of freedom
for raising 3 dysfunctional Croatian sons.

My mother was awarded the Serbian medal of freedom
for raising 3 dysfunctional Croatian sons.