I've always been very zealous about not invading other people's private spaces.

I've always been very zealous about not invading other people's private spaces.

I wish outer space guys would conquer the Earth and make people their pets, because I'd like to have one read more

I wish outer space guys would conquer the Earth and make people their pets, because I'd like to have one of those little beds with my name on it.

The real reason for comedy is to hide the pain.

The real reason for comedy is to hide the pain.

Beware of him who hates the laugh of a child.

Beware of him who hates the laugh of a child.

If I had no sense of humor, I would long ago have committed suicide.

If I had no sense of humor, I would long ago have committed suicide.

A person without a sense of humor is like a wagon without springs. It's jolted by every pebble on the read more

A person without a sense of humor is like a wagon without springs. It's jolted by every pebble on the road.

Eskimo: "If I did not know about God and sin, would I go to hell?" Priest: "No, not if you read more

Eskimo: "If I did not know about God and sin, would I go to hell?" Priest: "No, not if you did not know." Eskimo: "Then why did you tell me?"

no man who has once heartily and wholly laughed can be altogether irreclaimably bad.

no man who has once heartily and wholly laughed can be altogether irreclaimably bad.

I wish there were more humor in my work than I see in it.

I wish there were more humor in my work than I see in it.