I've always been very zealous about not invading other people's private spaces.

I've always been very zealous about not invading other people's private spaces.

He who laughs last has not yet heard the bad news.

He who laughs last has not yet heard the bad news.

Most people don't realize that large pieces of coral, which have been painted brown and attached to the skull by read more

Most people don't realize that large pieces of coral, which have been painted brown and attached to the skull by common wood screws, can make a child look like a deer.

I am no longer a curmudgeon.
I am a curmudgeon emeritus.

I am no longer a curmudgeon.
I am a curmudgeon emeritus.

If I could be a bird, I'd be a Flying Purple People Eater because then people would sing about me read more

If I could be a bird, I'd be a Flying Purple People Eater because then people would sing about me and I could fly down and eat them because I hate that song.

Anybody with a sense of humor is going to put on my album and laugh from beginning to end.

Anybody with a sense of humor is going to put on my album and laugh from beginning to end.

Those who are serious in ridiculous matters will be ridiculous in serious matters.

Those who are serious in ridiculous matters will be ridiculous in serious matters.

Men show their character in nothing more clearly than by what they find laughable.

Men show their character in nothing more clearly than by what they find laughable.

Everything is funny as long as it is happening to somebody else.

Everything is funny as long as it is happening to somebody else.