If you go parachuting, and your parachute doesn't open, and you friends are all watching you fall, I think a read more

If you go parachuting, and your parachute doesn't open, and you friends are all watching you fall, I think a funny gag would be to pretend you were swimming.

Your laugh is of the sardonic kind.

Your laugh is of the sardonic kind.

Everything is funny as long as it is happening to somebody else.

Everything is funny as long as it is happening to somebody else.

Beware of him who hates the laugh of a child.

Beware of him who hates the laugh of a child.

Wit is cultured insolence.

Wit is cultured insolence.

The seal went into the restaurant and was asked
by the waiter if he would like a Canadian Club
on read more

The seal went into the restaurant and was asked
by the waiter if he would like a Canadian Club
on the rocks.
He replied
no thank you.

What I saw was equal ecstasy:
One universal smile it seemed of all things.
[It., Cio ch'io read more

What I saw was equal ecstasy:
One universal smile it seemed of all things.
[It., Cio ch'io vedeva mi sembrava un riso
Dell's universo.]

A good way to threaten somebody is to light a stick of dynamite. Then you call the guy and hold read more

A good way to threaten somebody is to light a stick of dynamite. Then you call the guy and hold the burning fuse up to the phone. 'Hear that?' you say, 'That's dynamite, baby.'

The satirist shoots to kill while the humorist brings his prey back alive and eventually releases him again for another read more

The satirist shoots to kill while the humorist brings his prey back alive and eventually releases him again for another chance.