Maxioms Pet

X
  •   25  /  20  

    One thing kids like is to be tricked. For instance, I was going to take my little nephew to Disneyland, but instead I drove him to an old burned-out warehouse. 'Oh, no,' I said, 'Disneyland burned down.' He cried and cried, but I think that deep down he thought it was a pretty good joke. I started to drive over to the real Disneyland, but it was getting pretty late.

Share to:

You May Also Like   /   View all maxioms

  ( comments )
  21  /  34  

Anytime I see something screech across a room and latch onto someone's neck, and the guy screams and tries to read more

Anytime I see something screech across a room and latch onto someone's neck, and the guy screams and tries to get it off, I have to laugh, because what is that thing.

by Jack Handey Found in: Humor Quotes,
Share to:
  ( comments )
  31  /  25  

Humor is perhaps a sense of intellectual perspective: an awareness that some things are really important, others not; and that read more

Humor is perhaps a sense of intellectual perspective: an awareness that some things are really important, others not; and that the two kinds are most oddly jumbled in everyday affairs. - Inward Ho.

by Christopher Morley Found in: Humor Quotes,
Share to:
  ( comments )
  22  /  22  

Humor is not a postscript or an incidental afterthought; it is a serious and weighty part of the world's economy. read more

Humor is not a postscript or an incidental afterthought; it is a serious and weighty part of the world's economy. One feels increasingly the height of the faculty in which it arises, the nobility of things associated with it, and the greatness of services it renders. - Oscar Firkins: Memoirs and Letters.

by Oscar W. Firkins Found in: Humor Quotes,
Share to:
  ( comments )
  21  /  14  

The seal went into the restaurant and was asked
by the waiter if he would like a Canadian Club
on read more

The seal went into the restaurant and was asked
by the waiter if he would like a Canadian Club
on the rocks.
He replied
no thank you.

by Unknown Found in: Humor Quotes,
Share to:
  ( comments )
  16  /  22  

He who laughs last has not yet heard the bad news.

He who laughs last has not yet heard the bad news.

by Anthony Burgess Found in: Humor Quotes,
Share to:
  ( comments )
  27  /  28  

That is the best -- to laugh with someone because you think the same things are funny.

That is the best -- to laugh with someone because you think the same things are funny.

by Horace Walpole Found in: Humor Quotes,
Share to:
  ( comments )
  38  /  29  

If I had no sense of humor, I would long ago have committed suicide.

If I had no sense of humor, I would long ago have committed suicide.

by Mahatma Gandhi Found in: Humor Quotes,
Share to:
  ( comments )
  15  /  23  

I never dare to write
As funny as I can.

I never dare to write
As funny as I can.

  ( comments )
  19  /  20  

WARNING: Humor may be hazardous to your illness.

WARNING: Humor may be hazardous to your illness.

by Ellie Katz Found in: Humor Quotes,
Share to:
Maxioms Web Pet