One thing kids like is to be tricked. For instance, I was going to take my little nephew to Disneyland, but instead I drove him to an old burned-out warehouse. 'Oh, no,' I said, 'Disneyland burned down.' He cried and cried, but I think that deep down he thought it was a pretty good joke. I started to drive over to the real Disneyland, but it was getting pretty late.
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Don't sweat the petty things and don't pet the sweaty things
Don't sweat the petty things and don't pet the sweaty things
When a person can no longer laugh at himself, it is time for others to laugh at him.
When a person can no longer laugh at himself, it is time for others to laugh at him.
Folks that blurt out just what they think wouldn't be so bad if they thought.
Folks that blurt out just what they think wouldn't be so bad if they thought.
He who laughs last has not yet heard the bad news.
He who laughs last has not yet heard the bad news.
The most wasted day of all is that in which we have not laughed.
The most wasted day of all is that in which we have not laughed.
It is a curious fact that people are never so trivial as when they take themselves seriously.
It is a curious fact that people are never so trivial as when they take themselves seriously.
Sometimes when I feel like killing someone, I do a little trick to calm myself down. I'll go over to read more
Sometimes when I feel like killing someone, I do a little trick to calm myself down. I'll go over to the person's house and ring the doorbell. When the person comes to the door, I'm gone, but you know what I've left on the porch? A jack-o-lantern with a knife stuck in the side of its head with a note that says 'You.' After that I usually feel a lot better, and no harm done.
Humore is an affirmation of man's dignity, a declaration of man's superiority to all that befalls him.
Humore is an affirmation of man's dignity, a declaration of man's superiority to all that befalls him.
Instead of studying for finals, what about just going to the Bahamas and catching some rays? Maybe you'll flunk, but read more
Instead of studying for finals, what about just going to the Bahamas and catching some rays? Maybe you'll flunk, but you might have flunked anyway; that's my point.
