I've been married to one Marxist and one Fascist, and neither one would take the garbage out.

I've been married to one Marxist and one Fascist, and neither one would take the garbage out.

Never get married in the morning - you never know who you might meet that night.

Never get married in the morning - you never know who you might meet that night.

Marriage is popular because it combines the maximum of temptation
with the maximum of opportunity.

Marriage is popular because it combines the maximum of temptation
with the maximum of opportunity.

Marriage is the torment of one, the felicity of two, the strife and enmity of three.

Marriage is the torment of one, the felicity of two, the strife and enmity of three.

Marriage should be a duet - when one sings, the other claps.

Marriage should be a duet - when one sings, the other claps.

A man in love is incomplete until he has married. Then he's finished.

A man in love is incomplete until he has married. Then he's finished.

Marriage is like twirling a baton, turning hand springs or eating with chopsticks. It looks easy until you try it.

Marriage is like twirling a baton, turning hand springs or eating with chopsticks. It looks easy until you try it.

Never feel remorse for what you have thought about your wife; she has thought much worse things about you.

Never feel remorse for what you have thought about your wife; she has thought much worse things about you.

Men marry to make an end; women to make a beginning.

Men marry to make an end; women to make a beginning.