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Marriage is like a phone call in the night: first the ring, and then you wake up.
Marriage is like a phone call in the night: first the ring, and then you wake up.
A psychiatrist asks a lot of expensive questions your wife asks for nothing.
A psychiatrist asks a lot of expensive questions your wife asks for nothing.
The one charm about marriage is that it makes a life of deception absolutely necessary for both parties.
The one charm about marriage is that it makes a life of deception absolutely necessary for both parties.
Marriage is a wonderful invention: then again, so is a bicycle repair kit.
Marriage is a wonderful invention: then again, so is a bicycle repair kit.
The bonds of matrimony are like any other bonds--they mature slowly.
The bonds of matrimony are like any other bonds--they mature slowly.
Why get married and make one man miserable when I can stay single and make thousands miserable?
Why get married and make one man miserable when I can stay single and make thousands miserable?
They say marriages are made in Heaven. But so is thunder and lightning.
They say marriages are made in Heaven. But so is thunder and lightning.
Lasting harmony with a woman (was) an undertaking in which I
twice failed rather disgracefully.
Lasting harmony with a woman (was) an undertaking in which I
twice failed rather disgracefully.
I've given my memoirs far more thought than any of my marriages.
You can't divorce a book.
I've given my memoirs far more thought than any of my marriages.
You can't divorce a book.
