Never insult an alligator until you've crossed the river.

Never insult an alligator until you've crossed the river.

I hope they notice the mistletoe tied to my coattails as I leave town.

I hope they notice the mistletoe tied to my coattails as I leave town.

You will find that silence or very gentle words are the most exquisite revenge for insult.

You will find that silence or very gentle words are the most exquisite revenge for insult.

The only gracious way to accept an insult is to ignore it; if you can't ignore it, top it; if read more

The only gracious way to accept an insult is to ignore it; if you can't ignore it, top it; if you can't top it, laugh at it; if you can't laugh at it, it's probably deserved.

A stiff apology is a second insult... The injured party does not want to be compensated because he has been read more

A stiff apology is a second insult... The injured party does not want to be compensated because he has been wronged; he wants to be healed because he has been hurt.

A graceful taunt is worth a thousand insults.

A graceful taunt is worth a thousand insults.

A gentleman is one who never hurts anyone's feelings unintentionally.

A gentleman is one who never hurts anyone's feelings unintentionally.

It'd be a terrific innovation if you could get your mind to stretch a little further than the next wisecrack.

It'd be a terrific innovation if you could get your mind to stretch a little further than the next wisecrack.

Never insult anyone by accident.

Never insult anyone by accident.