Never insult an alligator until you've crossed the river.

Never insult an alligator until you've crossed the river.

I've had a wonderful evening - but this wasn't it.

I've had a wonderful evening - but this wasn't it.

I hope they notice the mistletoe tied to my coattails as I leave town.

I hope they notice the mistletoe tied to my coattails as I leave town.

The only gracious way to accept an insult is to ignore it; if you can't ignore it, top it; if read more

The only gracious way to accept an insult is to ignore it; if you can't ignore it, top it; if you can't top it, laugh at it; if you can't laugh at it, it's probably deserved.

I have met a lot of hardboiled eggs in my time, but you're twenty minutes.

I have met a lot of hardboiled eggs in my time, but you're twenty minutes.

It'd be a terrific innovation if you could get your mind to stretch a little further than the next wisecrack.

It'd be a terrific innovation if you could get your mind to stretch a little further than the next wisecrack.

She has the answer to everything and the solution to nothing.

She has the answer to everything and the solution to nothing.

Never insult anyone by accident.

Never insult anyone by accident.

You will find that silence or very gentle words are the most exquisite revenge for insult.

You will find that silence or very gentle words are the most exquisite revenge for insult.