I've had a wonderful evening - but this wasn't it.

I've had a wonderful evening - but this wasn't it.

I have met a lot of hardboiled eggs in my time, but you're twenty minutes.

I have met a lot of hardboiled eggs in my time, but you're twenty minutes.

A graceful taunt is worth a thousand insults.

A graceful taunt is worth a thousand insults.

If you can't ignore an insult, top it; if you can't top it, laugh it off; and if you can't read more

If you can't ignore an insult, top it; if you can't top it, laugh it off; and if you can't laugh it off, it's probably deserved.

I can't believe that out of 10,000 sperm, you were the quickest.

I can't believe that out of 10,000 sperm, you were the quickest.

When will the public cease to insult the teacher's calling with empty flattery? When will men who would never for read more

When will the public cease to insult the teacher's calling with empty flattery? When will men who would never for a moment encourage their own sons to enter the work of the public schools cease to tell us that education is the greatest and noblest of all human callings?

Insults should be written in sand, compliments should be carved in stone

Insults should be written in sand, compliments should be carved in stone

I am not going to spend any time whatsoever in attacking the Foreign Secretary. If we complain about the tune, read more

I am not going to spend any time whatsoever in attacking the Foreign Secretary. If we complain about the tune, there is no reason to attack the monkey when the organ grinder is present.

A gentleman is one who never hurts anyone's feelings unintentionally.

A gentleman is one who never hurts anyone's feelings unintentionally.