I've had a wonderful evening - but this wasn't it.

I've had a wonderful evening - but this wasn't it.

A wise man is superior to any insults which can be put upon him, and the best reply to unseemly read more

A wise man is superior to any insults which can be put upon him, and the best reply to unseemly behavior is patience and moderation.

Never offend people with style when you can offend them with substance.

Never offend people with style when you can offend them with substance.

The way to procure insults is to submit to them: a man meets with no more respect than he exacts.

The way to procure insults is to submit to them: a man meets with no more respect than he exacts.

She has the answer to everything and the solution to nothing.

She has the answer to everything and the solution to nothing.

A gentleman is one who never hurts anyone's feelings unintentionally.

A gentleman is one who never hurts anyone's feelings unintentionally.

She looked as if she had been poured into her clothes and had forgotten to say "when."

She looked as if she had been poured into her clothes and had forgotten to say "when."

Insults should be written in sand, compliments should be carved in stone

Insults should be written in sand, compliments should be carved in stone

I can't believe that out of 10,000 sperm, you were the quickest.

I can't believe that out of 10,000 sperm, you were the quickest.