Life is a B Movie: it's stupid and it's strange, it's a directionless story, the dialogue is lame, but in read more

Life is a B Movie: it's stupid and it's strange, it's a directionless story, the dialogue is lame, but in the 'he said she said' sometimes there's some poetry, if you turn your back long enough and let it happen naturally.

A wide screen just makes a bad film twice as bad.

A wide screen just makes a bad film twice as bad.

I don't feel we did wrong in taking this great country away from them. There were great numbers of people read more

I don't feel we did wrong in taking this great country away from them. There were great numbers of people who needed new land, and the Indians were selfishly trying to keep it for themselves.

Most men hate to shop. That's why the men's department is usually on the first floor of a department store, read more

Most men hate to shop. That's why the men's department is usually on the first floor of a department store, two inches from the door.

My reaction to porno films is as follows; After the first ten minutes, I want to go home and screw, read more

My reaction to porno films is as follows; After the first ten minutes, I want to go home and screw, After the first twenty minutes, I never want to screw again as long as I live

If I find a film dull, I find it infinitely more entertaining to watch the scratches.

If I find a film dull, I find it infinitely more entertaining to watch the scratches.

That's why men need instant replays in sports. They've already forgotten what happened.

That's why men need instant replays in sports. They've already forgotten what happened.

Male menopause is a lot more fun than female menopause. With female menopause you gain weight and get hot flashes. read more

Male menopause is a lot more fun than female menopause. With female menopause you gain weight and get hot flashes. Male menopause — you get to date young girls and drive motorcycles.

The secret to film is that it's an illusion.

The secret to film is that it's an illusion.