When I look at the future, it's so bright it burns my eyes.

When I look at the future, it's so bright it burns my eyes.

Men forget everything; women remember everything.

Men forget everything; women remember everything.

I am the modern, intelligent, independent-type woman. In other words, a girl who can not get a man.

I am the modern, intelligent, independent-type woman. In other words, a girl who can not get a man.

Male menopause is a lot more fun than female menopause. With female menopause you gain weight and get hot flashes. read more

Male menopause is a lot more fun than female menopause. With female menopause you gain weight and get hot flashes. Male menopause — you get to date young girls and drive motorcycles.

That's why men need instant replays in sports. They've already forgotten what happened.

That's why men need instant replays in sports. They've already forgotten what happened.

Most men hate to shop. That's why the men's department is usually on the first floor of a department store, read more

Most men hate to shop. That's why the men's department is usually on the first floor of a department store, two inches from the door.

I watched Titanic when I got back home from the hospital, and cried. I knew that my IQ had been read more

I watched Titanic when I got back home from the hospital, and cried. I knew that my IQ had been damaged.

The movies we love and admire are to some extent a function of who we are when we see them.

The movies we love and admire are to some extent a function of who we are when we see them.

Unless you choose to do great things with it, it makes no difference how much you are rewarded or how read more

Unless you choose to do great things with it, it makes no difference how much you are rewarded or how much you have.