Sometimes in movies, I still have to be the hero, but it's not all that important to me anymore.

Sometimes in movies, I still have to be the hero, but it's not all that important to me anymore.

I watched Titanic when I got back home from the hospital, and cried. I knew that my IQ had been read more

I watched Titanic when I got back home from the hospital, and cried. I knew that my IQ had been damaged.

That's why men need instant replays in sports. They've already forgotten what happened.

That's why men need instant replays in sports. They've already forgotten what happened.

A wide screen just makes a bad film twice as bad.

A wide screen just makes a bad film twice as bad.

I don't feel we did wrong in taking this great country away from them. There were great numbers of people read more

I don't feel we did wrong in taking this great country away from them. There were great numbers of people who needed new land, and the Indians were selfishly trying to keep it for themselves.

Male menopause is a lot more fun than female menopause. With female menopause you gain weight and get hot flashes. read more

Male menopause is a lot more fun than female menopause. With female menopause you gain weight and get hot flashes. Male menopause — you get to date young girls and drive motorcycles.

Mr. Keating: Carpe Diem! Sieze the day!

Mr. Keating: Carpe Diem! Sieze the day!

'Why don't you come up sometime 'n see me? I'm home every evening.... Come up. I'll tell your fortune.... Ah, read more

'Why don't you come up sometime 'n see me? I'm home every evening.... Come up. I'll tell your fortune.... Ah, you can be had.'

My reaction to porno films is as follows; After the first ten minutes, I want to go home and screw, read more

My reaction to porno films is as follows; After the first ten minutes, I want to go home and screw, After the first twenty minutes, I never want to screw again as long as I live