You can have it all. You just can't have it all at once.

You can have it all. You just can't have it all at once.

Neil: The meek may inherit the earth, but they don't get in to Harvard.

Neil: The meek may inherit the earth, but they don't get in to Harvard.

A good film is when the price of the dinner, the theatre admission and the babysitter were worth it.

A good film is when the price of the dinner, the theatre admission and the babysitter were worth it.

Most men hate to shop. That's why the men's department is usually on the first floor of a department store, read more

Most men hate to shop. That's why the men's department is usually on the first floor of a department store, two inches from the door.

The embarrassing thing is that the salad dressing is outgrossing my films.

The embarrassing thing is that the salad dressing is outgrossing my films.

Now I know I've got a heart, because it's breaking.

Now I know I've got a heart, because it's breaking.

Cinema is the most beautiful fraud in the world.

Cinema is the most beautiful fraud in the world.

Male menopause is a lot more fun than female menopause. With female menopause you gain weight and get hot flashes. read more

Male menopause is a lot more fun than female menopause. With female menopause you gain weight and get hot flashes. Male menopause — you get to date young girls and drive motorcycles.

I don't think you should feel about a film. You should feel about a woman, not a movie. You can't read more

I don't think you should feel about a film. You should feel about a woman, not a movie. You can't kiss a movie.