You leave home to seek your fortune and, when you get it, you go home and share it with your read more

You leave home to seek your fortune and, when you get it, you go home and share it with your family.

They keep saying the right person will come along, I think mine got hit by a truck.

They keep saying the right person will come along, I think mine got hit by a truck.

Woman submits to her fate; man makes his.

Woman submits to her fate; man makes his.

The trouble with some women is they get all excited about nothing, and then they marry him.

The trouble with some women is they get all excited about nothing, and then they marry him.

A husband is a guy who tells you when you've got on too much lipstick and helps you with your read more

A husband is a guy who tells you when you've got on too much lipstick and helps you with your girdle when your hips stick.

You can only perceive real beauty in a person as they get older.

You can only perceive real beauty in a person as they get older.

I never married because there was no need. I have three pets at home, which answer the same purpose as read more

I never married because there was no need. I have three pets at home, which answer the same purpose as a husband. I have a dog which growls every morning, a parrot which swears all afternoon and a cat that comes home late at night.

The society of women is the element of good manners.

The society of women is the element of good manners.

Wives are people who feel they don't dance enough.

Wives are people who feel they don't dance enough.