Husbands are like fires. They go out if unattended.

Husbands are like fires. They go out if unattended.

Ceremony and ritual spring from our heart of hearts: those who govern us know it well, for they would sooner read more

Ceremony and ritual spring from our heart of hearts: those who govern us know it well, for they would sooner deny us bread than dare alter the observance of tradition.

Man forgives women anything save the wit to outwit him.

Man forgives women anything save the wit to outwit him.

I require three things in a man: He must be handsome, ruthless, and stupid.

I require three things in a man: He must be handsome, ruthless, and stupid.

Marriage is a three ring circus: engagement ring, wedding ring, and suffering.

Marriage is a three ring circus: engagement ring, wedding ring, and suffering.

I recently read that love is entirely a matter of chemistry. That must be why my wife treats me like read more

I recently read that love is entirely a matter of chemistry. That must be why my wife treats me like toxic waste.

Some people can stay longer in an hour than others can in a week.

Some people can stay longer in an hour than others can in a week.

Be tolerant of the human race. Your whole family belongs to it -- and some of your spouse's family does read more

Be tolerant of the human race. Your whole family belongs to it -- and some of your spouse's family does too.

A pessimist is a man who thinks all women are bad. An optimist is one who hopes they are.

A pessimist is a man who thinks all women are bad. An optimist is one who hopes they are.