A dress that zips up the back will bring a husband and wife together.

A dress that zips up the back will bring a husband and wife together.

What a man sows, that shall he and his relations reap.

What a man sows, that shall he and his relations reap.

Men don't know much about women. We do know when they're happy. We know when they're crying, and we know read more

Men don't know much about women. We do know when they're happy. We know when they're crying, and we know when they're pissed off. We just don't know in what order these are gonna come at us.

My mother-in-law broke up my marriage. My wife came home from work one day and found me in bed with read more

My mother-in-law broke up my marriage. My wife came home from work one day and found me in bed with her.

Honolulu, it's got everything. Sand for the children, sun for the wife, sharks for the wife's mother.

Honolulu, it's got everything. Sand for the children, sun for the wife, sharks for the wife's mother.

If it weren't for marriage, men and women would have to fight with total strangers.

If it weren't for marriage, men and women would have to fight with total strangers.

I told my wife that a husband is like a fine wine; he gets better with age. The next day, read more

I told my wife that a husband is like a fine wine; he gets better with age. The next day, she locked me in the cellar.

Marriage is like a cage; one sees the birds outside desperate to get in, and those inside desperate to get read more

Marriage is like a cage; one sees the birds outside desperate to get in, and those inside desperate to get out.

Never tell. Not if you love your wife... In fact, if your old lady walks in on you, deny it. read more

Never tell. Not if you love your wife... In fact, if your old lady walks in on you, deny it. Yeah. Just flat out and she'll believe it: "I'm tellin' ya. This chick came downstairs with a sign around her neck 'Lay on Top of Me Or I'll Die.' I didn't know what I was gonna do....".