If you are afraid of loneliness, don't marry.

If you are afraid of loneliness, don't marry.

I don't worry about terrorism. I was married for two years.

I don't worry about terrorism. I was married for two years.

In the past decade or so, the women's magazines have taken to running home-handyperson articles suggesting that women can learn read more

In the past decade or so, the women's magazines have taken to running home-handyperson articles suggesting that women can learn to fix things just as well as men. These articles are apparently based on the ludicrous assumption that _men_ know how to fix things, when in fact all they know how to do is _look_ at things in a certain squinty-eyed manner, which they learned in Wood Shop; eventually, when enough things in the home are broken, they take a job requiring them to transfer to another home.

Husbands are like fires. They go out if unattended.

Husbands are like fires. They go out if unattended.

Women are most fascinating between the ages of thirty-five and forty, after they have won a few races and know read more

Women are most fascinating between the ages of thirty-five and forty, after they have won a few races and know how to pace themselves. Since few women ever pass forty, maximum fascination can continue indefinitely.

Marriage is an adventure, like going to war.

Marriage is an adventure, like going to war.

If I were a girl, I'd despair. The supply of good women far exceeds that of the men who deserve read more

If I were a girl, I'd despair. The supply of good women far exceeds that of the men who deserve them.

She'd have you spew up what you've drunk when you were out.

She'd have you spew up what you've drunk when you were out.

I guess the only way to stop divorce is to stop marriage.

I guess the only way to stop divorce is to stop marriage.