If it's a woman, its caustic; if it's a man, it's authoritative. -Barbara Walters.

If it's a woman, its caustic; if it's a man, it's authoritative. -Barbara Walters.

In the past decade or so, the women's magazines have taken to running home-handyperson articles suggesting that women can learn read more

In the past decade or so, the women's magazines have taken to running home-handyperson articles suggesting that women can learn to fix things just as well as men. These articles are apparently based on the ludicrous assumption that _men_ know how to fix things, when in fact all they know how to do is _look_ at things in a certain squinty-eyed manner, which they learned in Wood Shop; eventually, when enough things in the home are broken, they take a job requiring them to transfer to another home.

My mother-in-law broke up my marriage. My wife came home from work one day and found me in bed with read more

My mother-in-law broke up my marriage. My wife came home from work one day and found me in bed with her.

Some men are born with cold feet; some acquire cold feet; and some have cold feet thrust upon them.

Some men are born with cold feet; some acquire cold feet; and some have cold feet thrust upon them.

The woman is the home. That's where she used to be, and that's where she still is. You might ask read more

The woman is the home. That's where she used to be, and that's where she still is. You might ask me, What if a man tries to be part of the home -- will the woman let him? I answer yes. Because then he becomes one of the children.

The surest sign of age is loneliness.

The surest sign of age is loneliness.

If it weren't for marriage, men and women would have to fight with total strangers.

If it weren't for marriage, men and women would have to fight with total strangers.

The trouble with some women is they get all excited about nothing, and then they marry him.

The trouble with some women is they get all excited about nothing, and then they marry him.

There are two types of people. Those we who come into a room and say, "Well, here I am!" and read more

There are two types of people. Those we who come into a room and say, "Well, here I am!" and those who come in and say, "Ah, there you are.".