Where can a person be better than in the bosom of their family.

Where can a person be better than in the bosom of their family.

If you are afraid of loneliness, don't marry.

If you are afraid of loneliness, don't marry.

Marriage isn't a word... it's a sentence.

Marriage isn't a word... it's a sentence.

Never tell. Not if you love your wife... In fact, if your old lady walks in on you, deny it. read more

Never tell. Not if you love your wife... In fact, if your old lady walks in on you, deny it. Yeah. Just flat out and she'll believe it: "I'm tellin' ya. This chick came downstairs with a sign around her neck 'Lay on Top of Me Or I'll Die.' I didn't know what I was gonna do....".

Women like silent men. They think they're listening.

Women like silent men. They think they're listening.

Patience makes a woman beautiful in middle age.

Patience makes a woman beautiful in middle age.

If variety is the spice of life, marriage is the big can of leftover Spam.

If variety is the spice of life, marriage is the big can of leftover Spam.

Good women always think it is their fault when someone else is being offensive. Bad women never take the blame read more

Good women always think it is their fault when someone else is being offensive. Bad women never take the blame for anything.

Every theory of love, from Plato down teaches that each individual loves in the other sex what he lacks in read more

Every theory of love, from Plato down teaches that each individual loves in the other sex what he lacks in himself.