Women marry men hoping they will change. Men marry women hoping they will not. So each is inevitably disappointed.

Women marry men hoping they will change. Men marry women hoping they will not. So each is inevitably disappointed.

When a man opens the car door for his wife, it's either a new car or a new wife.

When a man opens the car door for his wife, it's either a new car or a new wife.

Man loves little and often. Woman much and rarely.

Man loves little and often. Woman much and rarely.

Family jokes, though rightly cursed by strangers, are the bond that keeps most families alive.

Family jokes, though rightly cursed by strangers, are the bond that keeps most families alive.

Honolulu, it's got everything. Sand for the children, sun for the wife, sharks for the wife's mother.

Honolulu, it's got everything. Sand for the children, sun for the wife, sharks for the wife's mother.

Patience makes a woman beautiful in middle age.

Patience makes a woman beautiful in middle age.

You see, dear, it is not true that woman was made from man's rib; she was really made from his read more

You see, dear, it is not true that woman was made from man's rib; she was really made from his funny bone.

Wives are people who feel they don't dance enough.

Wives are people who feel they don't dance enough.

A woman's guess is much more accurate than a man's certainty.

A woman's guess is much more accurate than a man's certainty.