The family is the nucleus of civilization.

The family is the nucleus of civilization.

Patience makes a woman beautiful in middle age.

Patience makes a woman beautiful in middle age.

All women are born evil. Some just realize their potential later in life than others.

All women are born evil. Some just realize their potential later in life than others.

I've sometimes thought of marrying, and then I've thought again.

I've sometimes thought of marrying, and then I've thought again.

I refuse to admit that I am more than 52, even if that makes my children illegitimate.

I refuse to admit that I am more than 52, even if that makes my children illegitimate.

Girls are like butterflies...pretty to look at, too hard to catch.

Girls are like butterflies...pretty to look at, too hard to catch.

Epperson's law: When a man says it's a silly, childish game, it's probably something his wife can beat him at.

Epperson's law: When a man says it's a silly, childish game, it's probably something his wife can beat him at.

Marriage is like a hot bath. Once you get used to it, it's not so hot.

Marriage is like a hot bath. Once you get used to it, it's not so hot.

Marriage is a three ring circus: engagement ring, wedding ring, and suffering.

Marriage is a three ring circus: engagement ring, wedding ring, and suffering.