Woman begins by resisting a man's advances and ends up blocking his retreat.

Woman begins by resisting a man's advances and ends up blocking his retreat.

An ounce of mother is worth a pound of clergy.

An ounce of mother is worth a pound of clergy.

I never married because there was no need. I have three pets at home, which answer the same purpose as read more

I never married because there was no need. I have three pets at home, which answer the same purpose as a husband. I have a dog which growls every morning, a parrot which swears all afternoon and a cat that comes home late at night.

Man was made at the end of the week's work, when God was tired

Man was made at the end of the week's work, when God was tired

A foolish man tells a woman to stop talking, but a wise man tells her that her mouth is extremely read more

A foolish man tells a woman to stop talking, but a wise man tells her that her mouth is extremely beautiful when her lips are closed

Is it better for a woman to marry a man who loves her than a man she loves.

Is it better for a woman to marry a man who loves her than a man she loves.

It seems as though women keep growing. Eventually they can have little or nothing in common with the men they read more

It seems as though women keep growing. Eventually they can have little or nothing in common with the men they chose long ago.

Talk to every woman as if you loved her, and to every man as if he bored you, and at read more

Talk to every woman as if you loved her, and to every man as if he bored you, and at the end of your first season you will have the reputation of possessing the most perfect social tact

A husband is a guy who tells you when you've got on too much lipstick and helps you with your read more

A husband is a guy who tells you when you've got on too much lipstick and helps you with your girdle when your hips stick.