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    Never tell. Not if you love your wife... In fact, if your old lady walks in on you, deny it. Yeah. Just flat out and she'll believe it: "I'm tellin' ya. This chick came downstairs with a sign around her neck 'Lay on Top of Me Or I'll Die.' I didn't know what I was gonna do....".

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  19  /  25  

Women who seek to be equal with men lack ambition. -Timothy Leary.

Women who seek to be equal with men lack ambition. -Timothy Leary.

by Timothy Leary Found in: Men and women Quotes,
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  25  /  20  

To marry is to halve your rights and double your duties.

To marry is to halve your rights and double your duties.

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Marriage is a great institution, but who wants to live in an institution?

Marriage is a great institution, but who wants to live in an institution?

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In the past decade or so, the women's magazines have taken to running home-handyperson articles suggesting that women can learn read more

In the past decade or so, the women's magazines have taken to running home-handyperson articles suggesting that women can learn to fix things just as well as men. These articles are apparently based on the ludicrous assumption that _men_ know how to fix things, when in fact all they know how to do is _look_ at things in a certain squinty-eyed manner, which they learned in Wood Shop; eventually, when enough things in the home are broken, they take a job requiring them to transfer to another home.

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  11  /  27  

In my case, adulthood itself was not an advance, although it was a useful waymark.

In my case, adulthood itself was not an advance, although it was a useful waymark.

by Nicholson Baker Found in: Men and women Quotes,
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Eternal boyhood is the dream of a depressing percentage of American males, and the locker room is the temple where read more

Eternal boyhood is the dream of a depressing percentage of American males, and the locker room is the temple where they worship arrested development.

by Dave Barry Found in: Men and women Quotes,
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  20  /  27  

Man forgives women anything save the wit to outwit him.

Man forgives women anything save the wit to outwit him.

by Minna Antrim Found in: Men and women Quotes,
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Family jokes, though rightly cursed by strangers, are the bond that keeps most families alive.

Family jokes, though rightly cursed by strangers, are the bond that keeps most families alive.

by Stella Benson Found in: Men and women Quotes,
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The woman's vision is deep reaching, the man's far reaching. With the man the world is his heart, with the read more

The woman's vision is deep reaching, the man's far reaching. With the man the world is his heart, with the woman the heart is her world.

by Betty Grable Found in: Men and women Quotes,
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