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    Never tell. Not if you love your wife... In fact, if your old lady walks in on you, deny it. Yeah. Just flat out and she'll believe it: "I'm tellin' ya. This chick came downstairs with a sign around her neck 'Lay on Top of Me Or I'll Die.' I didn't know what I was gonna do....".

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  14  /  19  

You can only perceive real beauty in a person as they get older.

You can only perceive real beauty in a person as they get older.

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  19  /  17  

Parents: persons who spend half their time worrying how a child will turn out, and the rest of the time read more

Parents: persons who spend half their time worrying how a child will turn out, and the rest of the time wondering when a child will turn in.

by Ted Cook Found in: Men and women Quotes,
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  15  /  15  

He followed in his father's footsteps, but his gait was somewhat erratic.

He followed in his father's footsteps, but his gait was somewhat erratic.

by Nicolas Bentley Found in: Men and women Quotes,
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  10  /  19  

Whatever else is unsure in this stinking dunghill of a world a mother's love is not.

Whatever else is unsure in this stinking dunghill of a world a mother's love is not.

by James Joyce Found in: Men and women Quotes,
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  11  /  19  

Good women always think it is their fault when someone else is being offensive. Bad women never take the blame read more

Good women always think it is their fault when someone else is being offensive. Bad women never take the blame for anything.

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A gentleman will not insult me, and no man not a gentleman can insult me.

A gentleman will not insult me, and no man not a gentleman can insult me.

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  17  /  20  

In the past decade or so, the women's magazines have taken to running home-handyperson articles suggesting that women can learn read more

In the past decade or so, the women's magazines have taken to running home-handyperson articles suggesting that women can learn to fix things just as well as men. These articles are apparently based on the ludicrous assumption that _men_ know how to fix things, when in fact all they know how to do is _look_ at things in a certain squinty-eyed manner, which they learned in Wood Shop; eventually, when enough things in the home are broken, they take a job requiring them to transfer to another home.

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There are three things men can do with women: love them, suffer for them, or turn them into literature.

There are three things men can do with women: love them, suffer for them, or turn them into literature.

by Stephen Stills Found in: Men and women Quotes,
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If you want something said, ask a man; if you want something done, ask a woman. -Margaret Thatcher.

If you want something said, ask a man; if you want something done, ask a woman. -Margaret Thatcher.

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