As blushing will sometimes make a whore pass for a virtuous woman, so modesty may make a fool seem a read more

As blushing will sometimes make a whore pass for a virtuous woman, so modesty may make a fool seem a man of sense.

I've had the boyhood thing of being Elvis. Now I want to be with my best friend, and my best read more

I've had the boyhood thing of being Elvis. Now I want to be with my best friend, and my best friend's my wife. Who could ask for anything more?

Men say they love independence in a woman, but they don't waste a second demolishing it brick by brick.

Men say they love independence in a woman, but they don't waste a second demolishing it brick by brick.

The awe and dread with which the untutored savage contemplates his mother-in-law are amongst the most familiar facts of anthropology.

The awe and dread with which the untutored savage contemplates his mother-in-law are amongst the most familiar facts of anthropology.

Never tell. Not if you love your wife... In fact, if your old lady walks in on you, deny it. read more

Never tell. Not if you love your wife... In fact, if your old lady walks in on you, deny it. Yeah. Just flat out and she'll believe it: "I'm tellin' ya. This chick came downstairs with a sign around her neck 'Lay on Top of Me Or I'll Die.' I didn't know what I was gonna do....".

The society of women is the element of good manners.

The society of women is the element of good manners.

I hate women because they always know where things are.

I hate women because they always know where things are.

If Mr. Vincent Price were to be co-starred with Miss Bette Davis in a story by Mr. Edgar Allan Poe read more

If Mr. Vincent Price were to be co-starred with Miss Bette Davis in a story by Mr. Edgar Allan Poe directed by Mr. Roger Corman, it could not fully express the pent-up violence and depravity of a single day in the life of the average family.

Govern a family as you would cook a small fish - very gently.

Govern a family as you would cook a small fish - very gently.