Lawyers are like morticians. We all need one sooner or later, but better later than sooner.

Lawyers are like morticians. We all need one sooner or later, but better later than sooner.

In cross-examination, as in fishing, nothing is more ungainly than a fisherman pulled into the water by his catch.

In cross-examination, as in fishing, nothing is more ungainly than a fisherman pulled into the water by his catch.

I never saw a lawyer yet who would admit he was making money.

I never saw a lawyer yet who would admit he was making money.

It took man thousands of years to put words down on paper, and his lawyers still wish he wouldn't.

It took man thousands of years to put words down on paper, and his lawyers still wish he wouldn't.

To some lawyers, all facts are created equal.

To some lawyers, all facts are created equal.

Young lawyers attend the courts, not because they have business there, but because they have no business anywhere else.

Young lawyers attend the courts, not because they have business there, but because they have no business anywhere else.

Ignorance of the law excuses no man from practicing it.

Ignorance of the law excuses no man from practicing it.

Self-defense is the clearest of all laws, and for this reason: lawyers didn't make it.

Self-defense is the clearest of all laws, and for this reason: lawyers didn't make it.

And whether you're an honest man, or whether you're a thief, Depends on whose solicitor has given me my brief.

And whether you're an honest man, or whether you're a thief, Depends on whose solicitor has given me my brief.