It took man thousands of years to put words down on paper, and his lawyers still wish he wouldn't.

It took man thousands of years to put words down on paper, and his lawyers still wish he wouldn't.

Lawyers are like morticians. We all need one sooner or later, but better later than sooner.

Lawyers are like morticians. We all need one sooner or later, but better later than sooner.

In cross-examination, as in fishing, nothing is more ungainly than a fisherman pulled into the water by his catch.

In cross-examination, as in fishing, nothing is more ungainly than a fisherman pulled into the water by his catch.

Self-defense is the clearest of all laws, and for this reason: lawyers didn't make it.

Self-defense is the clearest of all laws, and for this reason: lawyers didn't make it.

Young lawyers attend the courts, not because they have business there, but because they have no business anywhere else.

Young lawyers attend the courts, not because they have business there, but because they have no business anywhere else.

A good lawyer is a bad neighbor.

A good lawyer is a bad neighbor.

And whether you're an honest man, or whether you're a thief, Depends on whose solicitor has given me my brief.

And whether you're an honest man, or whether you're a thief, Depends on whose solicitor has given me my brief.

To some lawyers, all facts are created equal.

To some lawyers, all facts are created equal.

A lawyer's dream of heaven: every man reclaimed his property at the resurrection, and each tried to recover it from read more

A lawyer's dream of heaven: every man reclaimed his property at the resurrection, and each tried to recover it from all his forefathers.