It took man thousands of years to put words down on paper, and his lawyers still wish he wouldn't.

It took man thousands of years to put words down on paper, and his lawyers still wish he wouldn't.

A lawyer's dream of heaven: every man reclaimed his property at the resurrection, and each tried to recover it from read more

A lawyer's dream of heaven: every man reclaimed his property at the resurrection, and each tried to recover it from all his forefathers.

I never saw a lawyer yet who would admit he was making money.

I never saw a lawyer yet who would admit he was making money.

Lawyers are like morticians. We all need one sooner or later, but better later than sooner.

Lawyers are like morticians. We all need one sooner or later, but better later than sooner.

Lawyers are men who hire out their words and anger.

Lawyers are men who hire out their words and anger.

God works wonders now and then; Behold a lawyer, an honest man.

God works wonders now and then; Behold a lawyer, an honest man.

Ignorance of the law excuses no man from practicing it.

Ignorance of the law excuses no man from practicing it.

To some lawyers, all facts are created equal.

To some lawyers, all facts are created equal.

In cross-examination, as in fishing, nothing is more ungainly than a fisherman pulled into the water by his catch.

In cross-examination, as in fishing, nothing is more ungainly than a fisherman pulled into the water by his catch.