Lawyers are like morticians. We all need one sooner or later, but better later than sooner.

Lawyers are like morticians. We all need one sooner or later, but better later than sooner.

And whether you're an honest man, or whether you're a thief, Depends on whose solicitor has given me my brief.

And whether you're an honest man, or whether you're a thief, Depends on whose solicitor has given me my brief.

The trouble with law is lawyers.

The trouble with law is lawyers.

Lawyers are men who hire out their words and anger.

Lawyers are men who hire out their words and anger.

Young lawyers attend the courts, not because they have business there, but because they have no business anywhere else.

Young lawyers attend the courts, not because they have business there, but because they have no business anywhere else.

It is unfair to believe everything we hear about lawyers. Some of it might not be true.

It is unfair to believe everything we hear about lawyers. Some of it might not be true.

In cross-examination, as in fishing, nothing is more ungainly than a fisherman pulled into the water by his catch.

In cross-examination, as in fishing, nothing is more ungainly than a fisherman pulled into the water by his catch.

It took man thousands of years to put words down on paper, and his lawyers still wish he wouldn't.

It took man thousands of years to put words down on paper, and his lawyers still wish he wouldn't.

God works wonders now and then; Behold a lawyer, an honest man.

God works wonders now and then; Behold a lawyer, an honest man.