Never insult anyone by accident.

Never insult anyone by accident.

She looked as if she had been poured into her clothes and had forgotten to say "when."

She looked as if she had been poured into her clothes and had forgotten to say "when."

I've had a wonderful evening - but this wasn't it.

I've had a wonderful evening - but this wasn't it.

I can't believe that out of 10,000 sperm, you were the quickest.

I can't believe that out of 10,000 sperm, you were the quickest.

If you can't ignore an insult, top it; if you can't top it, laugh it off; and if you can't read more

If you can't ignore an insult, top it; if you can't top it, laugh it off; and if you can't laugh it off, it's probably deserved.

Insults should be written in sand, compliments should be carved in stone

Insults should be written in sand, compliments should be carved in stone

She has the answer to everything and the solution to nothing.

She has the answer to everything and the solution to nothing.

A graceful taunt is worth a thousand insults.

A graceful taunt is worth a thousand insults.

I hope they notice the mistletoe tied to my coattails as I leave town.

I hope they notice the mistletoe tied to my coattails as I leave town.