I can't believe that out of 10,000 sperm, you were the quickest.

I can't believe that out of 10,000 sperm, you were the quickest.

I've had a wonderful evening - but this wasn't it.

I've had a wonderful evening - but this wasn't it.

A stiff apology is a second insult... The injured party does not want to be compensated because he has been read more

A stiff apology is a second insult... The injured party does not want to be compensated because he has been wronged; he wants to be healed because he has been hurt.

You will find that silence or very gentle words are the most exquisite revenge for insult.

You will find that silence or very gentle words are the most exquisite revenge for insult.

Never insult anyone by accident.

Never insult anyone by accident.

Never insult an alligator until you've crossed the river.

Never insult an alligator until you've crossed the river.

The way to procure insults is to submit to them: a man meets with no more respect than he exacts.

The way to procure insults is to submit to them: a man meets with no more respect than he exacts.

A wise man is superior to any insults which can be put upon him, and the best reply to unseemly read more

A wise man is superior to any insults which can be put upon him, and the best reply to unseemly behavior is patience and moderation.

I hope they notice the mistletoe tied to my coattails as I leave town.

I hope they notice the mistletoe tied to my coattails as I leave town.