If you can't ignore an insult, top it; if you can't top it, laugh it off; and if you can't read more

If you can't ignore an insult, top it; if you can't top it, laugh it off; and if you can't laugh it off, it's probably deserved.

I have met a lot of hardboiled eggs in my time, but you're twenty minutes.

I have met a lot of hardboiled eggs in my time, but you're twenty minutes.

A graceful taunt is worth a thousand insults.

A graceful taunt is worth a thousand insults.

Never offend people with style when you can offend them with substance.

Never offend people with style when you can offend them with substance.

I hope they notice the mistletoe tied to my coattails as I leave town.

I hope they notice the mistletoe tied to my coattails as I leave town.

She has the answer to everything and the solution to nothing.

She has the answer to everything and the solution to nothing.

I've had a wonderful evening - but this wasn't it.

I've had a wonderful evening - but this wasn't it.

The way to procure insults is to submit to them: a man meets with no more respect than he exacts.

The way to procure insults is to submit to them: a man meets with no more respect than he exacts.

Never insult an alligator until you've crossed the river.

Never insult an alligator until you've crossed the river.