If you can't ignore an insult, top it; if you can't top it, laugh it off; and if you can't read more

If you can't ignore an insult, top it; if you can't top it, laugh it off; and if you can't laugh it off, it's probably deserved.

I can't believe that out of 10,000 sperm, you were the quickest.

I can't believe that out of 10,000 sperm, you were the quickest.

I am not going to spend any time whatsoever in attacking the Foreign Secretary. If we complain about the tune, read more

I am not going to spend any time whatsoever in attacking the Foreign Secretary. If we complain about the tune, there is no reason to attack the monkey when the organ grinder is present.

A stiff apology is a second insult... The injured party does not want to be compensated because he has been read more

A stiff apology is a second insult... The injured party does not want to be compensated because he has been wronged; he wants to be healed because he has been hurt.

Never insult an alligator until you've crossed the river.

Never insult an alligator until you've crossed the river.

Never insult anyone by accident.

Never insult anyone by accident.

The way to procure insults is to submit to them: a man meets with no more respect than he exacts.

The way to procure insults is to submit to them: a man meets with no more respect than he exacts.

A gentleman is one who never hurts anyone's feelings unintentionally.

A gentleman is one who never hurts anyone's feelings unintentionally.

A graceful taunt is worth a thousand insults.

A graceful taunt is worth a thousand insults.