Never offend people with style when you can offend them with substance.

Never offend people with style when you can offend them with substance.

She has the answer to everything and the solution to nothing.

She has the answer to everything and the solution to nothing.

Never insult anyone by accident.

Never insult anyone by accident.

I've had a wonderful evening - but this wasn't it.

I've had a wonderful evening - but this wasn't it.

I can't believe that out of 10,000 sperm, you were the quickest.

I can't believe that out of 10,000 sperm, you were the quickest.

I have met a lot of hardboiled eggs in my time, but you're twenty minutes.

I have met a lot of hardboiled eggs in my time, but you're twenty minutes.

A stiff apology is a second insult... The injured party does not want to be compensated because he has been read more

A stiff apology is a second insult... The injured party does not want to be compensated because he has been wronged; he wants to be healed because he has been hurt.

Never insult an alligator until you've crossed the river.

Never insult an alligator until you've crossed the river.

I am not going to spend any time whatsoever in attacking the Foreign Secretary. If we complain about the tune, read more

I am not going to spend any time whatsoever in attacking the Foreign Secretary. If we complain about the tune, there is no reason to attack the monkey when the organ grinder is present.