I've had a wonderful evening - but this wasn't it.

I've had a wonderful evening - but this wasn't it.

A wise man is superior to any insults which can be put upon him, and the best reply to unseemly read more

A wise man is superior to any insults which can be put upon him, and the best reply to unseemly behavior is patience and moderation.

Never insult anyone by accident.

Never insult anyone by accident.

A gentleman is one who never hurts anyone's feelings unintentionally.

A gentleman is one who never hurts anyone's feelings unintentionally.

She looked as if she had been poured into her clothes and had forgotten to say "when."

She looked as if she had been poured into her clothes and had forgotten to say "when."

I can't believe that out of 10,000 sperm, you were the quickest.

I can't believe that out of 10,000 sperm, you were the quickest.

Insults should be written in sand, compliments should be carved in stone

Insults should be written in sand, compliments should be carved in stone

You will find that silence or very gentle words are the most exquisite revenge for insult.

You will find that silence or very gentle words are the most exquisite revenge for insult.

The only gracious way to accept an insult is to ignore it; if you can't ignore it, top it; if read more

The only gracious way to accept an insult is to ignore it; if you can't ignore it, top it; if you can't top it, laugh at it; if you can't laugh at it, it's probably deserved.