Never insult anyone by accident.

Never insult anyone by accident.

Never insult an alligator until you've crossed the river.

Never insult an alligator until you've crossed the river.

I can't believe that out of 10,000 sperm, you were the quickest.

I can't believe that out of 10,000 sperm, you were the quickest.

She has the answer to everything and the solution to nothing.

She has the answer to everything and the solution to nothing.

I am not going to spend any time whatsoever in attacking the Foreign Secretary. If we complain about the tune, read more

I am not going to spend any time whatsoever in attacking the Foreign Secretary. If we complain about the tune, there is no reason to attack the monkey when the organ grinder is present.

A stiff apology is a second insult... The injured party does not want to be compensated because he has been read more

A stiff apology is a second insult... The injured party does not want to be compensated because he has been wronged; he wants to be healed because he has been hurt.

I hope they notice the mistletoe tied to my coattails as I leave town.

I hope they notice the mistletoe tied to my coattails as I leave town.

The only gracious way to accept an insult is to ignore it; if you can't ignore it, top it; if read more

The only gracious way to accept an insult is to ignore it; if you can't ignore it, top it; if you can't top it, laugh at it; if you can't laugh at it, it's probably deserved.

If you can't ignore an insult, top it; if you can't top it, laugh it off; and if you can't read more

If you can't ignore an insult, top it; if you can't top it, laugh it off; and if you can't laugh it off, it's probably deserved.