Never insult an alligator until you've crossed the river.

Never insult an alligator until you've crossed the river.

The way to procure insults is to submit to them: a man meets with no more respect than he exacts.

The way to procure insults is to submit to them: a man meets with no more respect than he exacts.

When will the public cease to insult the teacher's calling with empty flattery? When will men who would never for read more

When will the public cease to insult the teacher's calling with empty flattery? When will men who would never for a moment encourage their own sons to enter the work of the public schools cease to tell us that education is the greatest and noblest of all human callings?

I can't believe that out of 10,000 sperm, you were the quickest.

I can't believe that out of 10,000 sperm, you were the quickest.

The only gracious way to accept an insult is to ignore it; if you can't ignore it, top it; if read more

The only gracious way to accept an insult is to ignore it; if you can't ignore it, top it; if you can't top it, laugh at it; if you can't laugh at it, it's probably deserved.

A graceful taunt is worth a thousand insults.

A graceful taunt is worth a thousand insults.

Never insult anyone by accident.

Never insult anyone by accident.

I've had a wonderful evening - but this wasn't it.

I've had a wonderful evening - but this wasn't it.

I am not going to spend any time whatsoever in attacking the Foreign Secretary. If we complain about the tune, read more

I am not going to spend any time whatsoever in attacking the Foreign Secretary. If we complain about the tune, there is no reason to attack the monkey when the organ grinder is present.