Humor is always based on a modicum of truth. Have you ever heard a joke about a father-in-law.

Humor is always based on a modicum of truth. Have you ever heard a joke about a father-in-law.

The ability to quote is a serviceable substitute for wit.

The ability to quote is a serviceable substitute for wit.

I love to go to the schoolyard and watch the children jump and scream, but they don't know I'm using read more

I love to go to the schoolyard and watch the children jump and scream, but they don't know I'm using blanks.

My way of joking is to tell the truth. It is the funniest joke
in the world.

My way of joking is to tell the truth. It is the funniest joke
in the world.

Those who are serious in ridiculous matters will be ridiculous in serious matters.

Those who are serious in ridiculous matters will be ridiculous in serious matters.

Humor can alter any situation and help us cope at the very instant we are laughing.

Humor can alter any situation and help us cope at the very instant we are laughing.

When a person can no longer laugh at himself, it is time for others to laugh at him.

When a person can no longer laugh at himself, it is time for others to laugh at him.

To me, it's a good idea to always carry two sacks of something when you walk around. That way, if read more

To me, it's a good idea to always carry two sacks of something when you walk around. That way, if anybody says, 'Hey, can you give me a hand?' you can say, 'Sorry, got these sacks.'

The test of a real comedian is whether you laugh at him before he opens his mouth.

The test of a real comedian is whether you laugh at him before he opens his mouth.