Learn to laugh at your troubles and you'll never run out of things to laugh at.

Learn to laugh at your troubles and you'll never run out of things to laugh at.

A sense of humor is the ability to understand a joke - and that the joke is oneself.

A sense of humor is the ability to understand a joke - and that the joke is oneself.

Is anything besides the mind ever boggled?

Is anything besides the mind ever boggled?

I wish outer space guys would conquer the Earth and make people their pets, because I'd like to have one read more

I wish outer space guys would conquer the Earth and make people their pets, because I'd like to have one of those little beds with my name on it.

If you could choose one characteristic that would get you through life, choose a sense of humor.

If you could choose one characteristic that would get you through life, choose a sense of humor.

Anytime I see something screech across a room and latch onto someone's neck, and the guy screams and tries to read more

Anytime I see something screech across a room and latch onto someone's neck, and the guy screams and tries to get it off, I have to laugh, because what is that thing.

I think someone should have had the decency to tell me the luncheon was free. To make someone run out read more

I think someone should have had the decency to tell me the luncheon was free. To make someone run out with potato salad in his hand, pretending he's throwing up, is not what I call hospitality.

I said that Sean Hannity took residence up Newt Gingrich's
butt from 94 to 98. I got that from British read more

I said that Sean Hannity took residence up Newt Gingrich's
butt from 94 to 98. I got that from British intelligence.
It turns out he only took up residence in 95.

My way of joking is to tell the truth. It is the funniest joke
in the world.

My way of joking is to tell the truth. It is the funniest joke
in the world.