Humour has justly been regarded as the finest perfection of poetic genius.

Humour has justly been regarded as the finest perfection of poetic genius.

I love to go to the schoolyard and watch the children jump and scream, but they don't know I'm using read more

I love to go to the schoolyard and watch the children jump and scream, but they don't know I'm using blanks.

Instead of studying for finals, what about just going to the Bahamas and catching some rays? Maybe you'll flunk, but read more

Instead of studying for finals, what about just going to the Bahamas and catching some rays? Maybe you'll flunk, but you might have flunked anyway; that's my point.

One thing kids like is to be tricked. For instance, I was going to take my little nephew to Disneyland, read more

One thing kids like is to be tricked. For instance, I was going to take my little nephew to Disneyland, but instead I drove him to an old burned-out warehouse. 'Oh, no,' I said, 'Disneyland burned down.' He cried and cried, but I think that deep down he thought it was a pretty good joke. I started to drive over to the real Disneyland, but it was getting pretty late.

I wish there were more humor in my work than I see in it.

I wish there were more humor in my work than I see in it.

A person reveals his character by nothing so clearly as the joke he resents.

A person reveals his character by nothing so clearly as the joke he resents.

Is there anything more beautiful than a beautiful, beautiful flamingo, flying across in front of a beautiful sunset? And he's read more

Is there anything more beautiful than a beautiful, beautiful flamingo, flying across in front of a beautiful sunset? And he's carrying a beautiful rose in his beak, and also he's carrying a very beautiful painting with his feet. And also, you're drunk.

A well-developed sense of humor is the pole that adds balance to your steps as you walk the tightrope of read more

A well-developed sense of humor is the pole that adds balance to your steps as you walk the tightrope of life.

Those who are serious in ridiculous matters will be ridiculous in serious matters.

Those who are serious in ridiculous matters will be ridiculous in serious matters.