Optimism: The doctrine, or belief, that everything is beautiful, including what is ugly, everything good, especially the bad, and everything read more

Optimism: The doctrine, or belief, that everything is beautiful, including what is ugly, everything good, especially the bad, and everything right that is wrong.

A joke is an epigram on the death of a feeling.

A joke is an epigram on the death of a feeling.

A rich man's joke is always funny.

A rich man's joke is always funny.

To me, it's a good idea to always carry two sacks of something when you walk around. That way, if read more

To me, it's a good idea to always carry two sacks of something when you walk around. That way, if anybody says, 'Hey, can you give me a hand?' you can say, 'Sorry, got these sacks.'

Now I perceive the devil understands Welsh.
And 'tis no marvel he is so humorous.
By'r Lady, read more

Now I perceive the devil understands Welsh.
And 'tis no marvel he is so humorous.
By'r Lady, he is a good musician.

I wish outer space guys would conquer the Earth and make people their pets, because I'd like to have one read more

I wish outer space guys would conquer the Earth and make people their pets, because I'd like to have one of those little beds with my name on it.

The ability to quote is a serviceable substitute for wit.

The ability to quote is a serviceable substitute for wit.

Humor is the instinct for taking pain playfully.

Humor is the instinct for taking pain playfully.

Humour has justly been regarded as the finest perfection of poetic genius.

Humour has justly been regarded as the finest perfection of poetic genius.