If I could be a bird, I'd be a Flying Purple People Eater because then people would sing about me read more

If I could be a bird, I'd be a Flying Purple People Eater because then people would sing about me and I could fly down and eat them because I hate that song.

Sometimes I lie awake at night, and ask, 'Where have I gone wrong?' Then a voice says to me, 'This read more

Sometimes I lie awake at night, and ask, 'Where have I gone wrong?' Then a voice says to me, 'This is going to take more than one night.'

Hope costs nothing

Hope costs nothing

Is anything besides the mind ever boggled?

Is anything besides the mind ever boggled?

Hope, deceitful as it is, serves at least to lead us to the end of our lives by an agreeable read more

Hope, deceitful as it is, serves at least to lead us to the end of our lives by an agreeable route.

Unconscious humor.

Unconscious humor.

Moderation is the secret of survival.

Moderation is the secret of survival.

Many people think that history is a dull subject. Dull? Is it 'dull' that Jesse James once got bitten on read more

Many people think that history is a dull subject. Dull? Is it 'dull' that Jesse James once got bitten on the forehead by an ant, and at first it didn't seem like anything, but then the bite got worse and worse, so he went to a doctor in town, and the secretary told him to wait, so he sat down and waited, and waited, and waited, and waited, and then finally he got to see the doctor, and the doctor put some salve on it? You call that dull?

The rhythm of life is intricate but orderly, tenacious but fragile. To keep that in mind is to build the read more

The rhythm of life is intricate but orderly, tenacious but fragile. To keep that in mind is to build the key to survival.