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    a Christmas tree .. the perfect gift
    for a guy... the plant is already dead
    (monologue Dec 10 2003).

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  23  /  18  

Humor is always based on a modicum of truth. Have you ever heard a joke about a father-in-law.

Humor is always based on a modicum of truth. Have you ever heard a joke about a father-in-law.

by Dick Clark Found in: Humor Quotes,
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  22  /  17  

Is anything besides the mind ever boggled?

Is anything besides the mind ever boggled?

by O Anna Niemus Found in: Humor Quotes,
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  32  /  16  

Nothing shows a man's character more than what he laughs at.

Nothing shows a man's character more than what he laughs at.

by Clive James Found in: Humor Quotes, Laughter Quotes,
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  19  /  21  

He who laughs, lasts.

He who laughs, lasts.

by John Powell Found in: Humor Quotes,
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  32  /  40  

I love to go to the schoolyard and watch the children jump and scream, but they don't know I'm using read more

I love to go to the schoolyard and watch the children jump and scream, but they don't know I'm using blanks.

by Jack Handey Found in: Humor Quotes,
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  28  /  14  

Americans are pragmatic, relatively uncomplicated, hearty and given to broad humor.

Americans are pragmatic, relatively uncomplicated, hearty and given to broad humor.

by Herb Caen Found in: Humor Quotes,
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  21  /  24  

The ability to quote is a serviceable substitute for wit.

The ability to quote is a serviceable substitute for wit.

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  24  /  46  

If you ever catch on fire, try to avoid looking in a mirror, because I bet that will really throw read more

If you ever catch on fire, try to avoid looking in a mirror, because I bet that will really throw you into a panic.

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  12  /  26  

A person without a sense of humor is like a wagon without springs. It's jolted by every pebble on the read more

A person without a sense of humor is like a wagon without springs. It's jolted by every pebble on the road.

by Henry Ward Beecher Found in: Humor Quotes,
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