The seal went into the restaurant and was asked
by the waiter if he would like a Canadian Club
on read more

The seal went into the restaurant and was asked
by the waiter if he would like a Canadian Club
on the rocks.
He replied
no thank you.

I wonder if illiterate people get the full effect of alphabet soup?'

I wonder if illiterate people get the full effect of alphabet soup?'

Many people think that history is a dull subject. Dull? Is it 'dull' that Jesse James once got bitten on read more

Many people think that history is a dull subject. Dull? Is it 'dull' that Jesse James once got bitten on the forehead by an ant, and at first it didn't seem like anything, but then the bite got worse and worse, so he went to a doctor in town, and the secretary told him to wait, so he sat down and waited, and waited, and waited, and waited, and then finally he got to see the doctor, and the doctor put some salve on it? You call that dull?

Men show their character in nothing more clearly than by what they find laughable.

Men show their character in nothing more clearly than by what they find laughable.

I wish outer space guys would conquer the Earth and make people their pets, because I'd like to have one read more

I wish outer space guys would conquer the Earth and make people their pets, because I'd like to have one of those little beds with my name on it.

If you're robbing a bank and you're pants fall down, I think it's okay to laugh and to let the read more

If you're robbing a bank and you're pants fall down, I think it's okay to laugh and to let the hostages laugh too, because, come on, life is funny.

My mother was awarded the Serbian medal of freedom
for raising 3 dysfunctional Croatian sons.

My mother was awarded the Serbian medal of freedom
for raising 3 dysfunctional Croatian sons.

We never respect those who amuse us, however we may smile at their comic powers.

We never respect those who amuse us, however we may smile at their comic powers.

Those who are serious in ridiculous matters will be ridiculous in serious matters.

Those who are serious in ridiculous matters will be ridiculous in serious matters.