Humor is mankind's greatest blessing.

Humor is mankind's greatest blessing.

Anytime I see something screech across a room and latch onto someone's neck, and the guy screams and tries to read more

Anytime I see something screech across a room and latch onto someone's neck, and the guy screams and tries to get it off, I have to laugh, because what is that thing.

I've always been very zealous about not invading other people's private spaces.

I've always been very zealous about not invading other people's private spaces.

I wish there were more humor in my work than I see in it.

I wish there were more humor in my work than I see in it.

That is the best -- to laugh with someone because you think the same things are funny.

That is the best -- to laugh with someone because you think the same things are funny.

Nobody ever died of laughter.

Nobody ever died of laughter.

If you ever catch on fire, try to avoid looking in a mirror, because I bet that will really throw read more

If you ever catch on fire, try to avoid looking in a mirror, because I bet that will really throw you into a panic.

If you want anything done well, do it yourself. This is why most people laugh at their own jokes.

If you want anything done well, do it yourself. This is why most people laugh at their own jokes.

The seal went into the restaurant and was asked
by the waiter if he would like a Canadian Club
on read more

The seal went into the restaurant and was asked
by the waiter if he would like a Canadian Club
on the rocks.
He replied
no thank you.