Miss Piggy to Johnny Carson
.. do you think I am Oscar material?
Johnny Carson: Oscar Mayer maybe
NBC Tonight read more

Miss Piggy to Johnny Carson
.. do you think I am Oscar material?
Johnny Carson: Oscar Mayer maybe
NBC Tonight Show writers
http://www.mad-cow.org.

Common sense and a sense of humor are the same thing, moving at different speeds. A sense of humor is read more

Common sense and a sense of humor are the same thing, moving at different speeds. A sense of humor is just common sense, dancing.

Humour has justly been regarded as the finest perfection of poetic genius.

Humour has justly been regarded as the finest perfection of poetic genius.

One thing kids like is to be tricked. For instance, I was going to take my little nephew to Disneyland, read more

One thing kids like is to be tricked. For instance, I was going to take my little nephew to Disneyland, but instead I drove him to an old burned-out warehouse. 'Oh, no,' I said, 'Disneyland burned down.' He cried and cried, but I think that deep down he thought it was a pretty good joke. I started to drive over to the real Disneyland, but it was getting pretty late.

I want it said of me by those who knew me best, that I always plucked a thistle and planted read more

I want it said of me by those who knew me best, that I always plucked a thistle and planted a flower where I thought a flower would grow.

Our best thoughts come from others.

Our best thoughts come from others.

Beware when the great God lets loose a thinker on this planet.

Beware when the great God lets loose a thinker on this planet.

It's only a thought, and a thought can be changed.

It's only a thought, and a thought can be changed.

If I have done the public any service, it is due to my patient thought.

If I have done the public any service, it is due to my patient thought.