Instead of working for the survival of the fittest, we should be working for the survival of the wittiest -- read more

Instead of working for the survival of the fittest, we should be working for the survival of the wittiest -- then we can all die laughing.

I love to go to the schoolyard and watch the children jump and scream, but they don't know I'm using read more

I love to go to the schoolyard and watch the children jump and scream, but they don't know I'm using blanks.

Great wits are sure to madness near allied,
And thin partitions do their bounds divide.

Great wits are sure to madness near allied,
And thin partitions do their bounds divide.

Wit, now and then, struck smartly, shows a spark.

Wit, now and then, struck smartly, shows a spark.

Humor can alter any situation and help us cope at the very instant we are laughing.

Humor can alter any situation and help us cope at the very instant we are laughing.

An ounce of wit is worth a pound of sorrow.

An ounce of wit is worth a pound of sorrow.

Ev'n wit's a burthen, when it talks too long.

Ev'n wit's a burthen, when it talks too long.

A difference of taste in jokes is a great strain on the affections.

A difference of taste in jokes is a great strain on the affections.

Wit penetrates; humor envelops. Wit is a function of verbal intelligence; humor is imagination operating on good nature.

Wit penetrates; humor envelops. Wit is a function of verbal intelligence; humor is imagination operating on good nature.