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A good way to threaten somebody is to light a stick of dynamite. Then you call the guy and hold read more
A good way to threaten somebody is to light a stick of dynamite. Then you call the guy and hold the burning fuse up to the phone. 'Hear that?' you say, 'That's dynamite, baby.'
Insanity destroys reason, but not wit.
Insanity destroys reason, but not wit.
Humor must not professedly teach and it must not professedly preach, but it must do both if it would live read more
Humor must not professedly teach and it must not professedly preach, but it must do both if it would live forever.
Men show their character in nothing more clearly than by what they find laughable.
Men show their character in nothing more clearly than by what they find laughable.
Wit is the lowest form of humor.
Wit is the lowest form of humor.
In the end, everything is a gag.
In the end, everything is a gag.
Wit consists in seeing the resemblance between things which differ, and the difference between things which are alike
Wit consists in seeing the resemblance between things which differ, and the difference between things which are alike
If you ever fall off the Sears Tower, just go real limp, because maybe you'll look like a dummy and read more
If you ever fall off the Sears Tower, just go real limp, because maybe you'll look like a dummy and people will try to catch you because, hey, free dummy.
He who laughs last has not yet heard the bad news.
He who laughs last has not yet heard the bad news.
