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A good way to threaten somebody is to light a stick of dynamite. Then you call the guy and hold read more

A good way to threaten somebody is to light a stick of dynamite. Then you call the guy and hold the burning fuse up to the phone. 'Hear that?' you say, 'That's dynamite, baby.'

by Jack Handey Found in: Humor Quotes,
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Insanity destroys reason, but not wit.

Insanity destroys reason, but not wit.

by Nathaniel Emmons Found in: Wit Quotes,
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Humor must not professedly teach and it must not professedly preach, but it must do both if it would live read more

Humor must not professedly teach and it must not professedly preach, but it must do both if it would live forever.

by Mark Twain Found in: Humor Quotes,
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Men show their character in nothing more clearly than by what they find laughable.

Men show their character in nothing more clearly than by what they find laughable.

by Anonymous Found in: Humor Quotes,
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Wit is the lowest form of humor.

Wit is the lowest form of humor.

by Alexander Pope Found in: History Quotes, Wit Quotes,
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In the end, everything is a gag.

In the end, everything is a gag.

by Thomas Carlyle Found in: Humor Quotes,
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Wit consists in seeing the resemblance between things which differ, and the difference between things which are alike

Wit consists in seeing the resemblance between things which differ, and the difference between things which are alike

by Madame De Stael Found in: Wit Quotes,
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If you ever fall off the Sears Tower, just go real limp, because maybe you'll look like a dummy and read more

If you ever fall off the Sears Tower, just go real limp, because maybe you'll look like a dummy and people will try to catch you because, hey, free dummy.

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He who laughs last has not yet heard the bad news.

He who laughs last has not yet heard the bad news.

by Anthony Burgess Found in: Humor Quotes,
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