The most wasted of all days is one without laughter.

The most wasted of all days is one without laughter.

That is the best -- to laugh with someone because you think the same things are funny.

That is the best -- to laugh with someone because you think the same things are funny.

There's the humour of it.

There's the humour of it.

If I could be a bird, I'd be a Flying Purple People Eater because then people would sing about me read more

If I could be a bird, I'd be a Flying Purple People Eater because then people would sing about me and I could fly down and eat them because I hate that song.

To me, clowns aren't funny. In fact, they're kind of scary. I've wondered where this started and I think it read more

To me, clowns aren't funny. In fact, they're kind of scary. I've wondered where this started and I think it goes back to the time I went to the circus, and a clown killed my dad.

I wish there were more humor in my work than I see in it.

I wish there were more humor in my work than I see in it.

If you ever catch on fire, try to avoid looking in a mirror, because I bet that will really throw read more

If you ever catch on fire, try to avoid looking in a mirror, because I bet that will really throw you into a panic.

A person reveals his character by nothing so clearly as the joke he resents.

A person reveals his character by nothing so clearly as the joke he resents.

Sometimes I lie awake at night, and ask, 'Where have I gone wrong?' Then a voice says to me, 'This read more

Sometimes I lie awake at night, and ask, 'Where have I gone wrong?' Then a voice says to me, 'This is going to take more than one night.'