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I love to go to the schoolyard and watch the children jump and scream, but they don't know I'm using read more
I love to go to the schoolyard and watch the children jump and scream, but they don't know I'm using blanks.
It is a curious fact that people are never so trivial as when they take themselves seriously.
It is a curious fact that people are never so trivial as when they take themselves seriously.
I have a fine sense of the ridiculous, but no sense of humour.
I have a fine sense of the ridiculous, but no sense of humour.
Some people are like Slinkies - not really good for anything, but you still can't help but smile when you read more
Some people are like Slinkies - not really good for anything, but you still can't help but smile when you see one tumble down the stairs.
Folks that blurt out just what they think wouldn't be so bad if they thought.
Folks that blurt out just what they think wouldn't be so bad if they thought.
Is there anything more beautiful than a beautiful, beautiful flamingo, flying across in front of a beautiful sunset? And he's read more
Is there anything more beautiful than a beautiful, beautiful flamingo, flying across in front of a beautiful sunset? And he's carrying a beautiful rose in his beak, and also he's carrying a very beautiful painting with his feet. And also, you're drunk.
A good way to threaten somebody is to light a stick of dynamite. Then you call the guy and hold read more
A good way to threaten somebody is to light a stick of dynamite. Then you call the guy and hold the burning fuse up to the phone. 'Hear that?' you say, 'That's dynamite, baby.'
Humor is by far the most significant activity of the human brain.
Humor is by far the most significant activity of the human brain.
