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    I love to go to the schoolyard and watch the children jump and scream, but they don't know I'm using blanks.

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He who laughs, lasts.

He who laughs, lasts.

by John Powell Found in: Humor Quotes,
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  26  /  23  

Optimism: The doctrine, or belief, that everything is beautiful, including what is ugly, everything good, especially the bad, and everything read more

Optimism: The doctrine, or belief, that everything is beautiful, including what is ugly, everything good, especially the bad, and everything right that is wrong.

by Ambrose Bierce Found in: Humor Quotes,
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  23  /  20  

Some people are like Slinkies - not really good for anything, but you still can't help but smile when you read more

Some people are like Slinkies - not really good for anything, but you still can't help but smile when you see one tumble down the stairs.

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Humor has been the balm of my life, but it's been reserved for those close to me, not part of read more

Humor has been the balm of my life, but it's been reserved for those close to me, not part of the public Lana.

by Lana Turner Found in: Humor Quotes,
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Humor can alter any situation and help us cope at the very instant we are laughing.

Humor can alter any situation and help us cope at the very instant we are laughing.

by Allen Klein Found in: Humor Quotes,
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A difference of taste in jokes is a great strain on the affections.

A difference of taste in jokes is a great strain on the affections.

by George Eliot Found in: Humor Quotes,
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I wish outer space guys would conquer the Earth and make people their pets, because I'd like to have one read more

I wish outer space guys would conquer the Earth and make people their pets, because I'd like to have one of those little beds with my name on it.

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One thing kids like is to be tricked. For instance, I was going to take my little nephew to Disneyland, read more

One thing kids like is to be tricked. For instance, I was going to take my little nephew to Disneyland, but instead I drove him to an old burned-out warehouse. 'Oh, no,' I said, 'Disneyland burned down.' He cried and cried, but I think that deep down he thought it was a pretty good joke. I started to drive over to the real Disneyland, but it was getting pretty late.

by Jack Handey Found in: Humor Quotes,
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Instead of studying for finals, what about just going to the Bahamas and catching some rays? Maybe you'll flunk, but read more

Instead of studying for finals, what about just going to the Bahamas and catching some rays? Maybe you'll flunk, but you might have flunked anyway; that's my point.

by Jack Handey Found in: Humor Quotes,
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