If you ever fall off the Sears Tower, just go real limp, because maybe you'll look like a dummy and read more

If you ever fall off the Sears Tower, just go real limp, because maybe you'll look like a dummy and people will try to catch you because, hey, free dummy.

If you go parachuting, and your parachute doesn't open, and you friends are all watching you fall, I think a read more

If you go parachuting, and your parachute doesn't open, and you friends are all watching you fall, I think a funny gag would be to pretend you were swimming.

Some people are like Slinkies - not really good for anything, but you still can't help but smile when you read more

Some people are like Slinkies - not really good for anything, but you still can't help but smile when you see one tumble down the stairs.

Those who are serious in ridiculous matters will be ridiculous in serious matters.

Those who are serious in ridiculous matters will be ridiculous in serious matters.

A rich man's joke is always funny.

A rich man's joke is always funny.

Humor can alter any situation and help us cope at the very instant we are laughing.

Humor can alter any situation and help us cope at the very instant we are laughing.

To me, clowns aren't funny. In fact, they're kind of scary. I've wondered where this started and I think it read more

To me, clowns aren't funny. In fact, they're kind of scary. I've wondered where this started and I think it goes back to the time I went to the circus, and a clown killed my dad.

A joke is an epigram on the death of a feeling.

A joke is an epigram on the death of a feeling.

My doctor told me to stop having intimate dinners for four unless there are three other people.

My doctor told me to stop having intimate dinners for four unless there are three other people.