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    I love to go to the schoolyard and watch the children jump and scream, but they don't know I'm using blanks.

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  26  /  20  

Miss Piggy to Johnny Carson
.. do you think I am Oscar material?
Johnny Carson: Oscar Mayer maybe
NBC Tonight read more

Miss Piggy to Johnny Carson
.. do you think I am Oscar material?
Johnny Carson: Oscar Mayer maybe
NBC Tonight Show writers
http://www.mad-cow.org.

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  17  /  18  

If you don't learn to laugh at troubles, you won't have anything to laugh at when you grow old.

If you don't learn to laugh at troubles, you won't have anything to laugh at when you grow old.

by Edward W. Howe Found in: Humor Quotes,
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  17  /  12  

Humor distorts nothing, and only false gods are laughed off their earthly pedestals. - Points of View.

Humor distorts nothing, and only false gods are laughed off their earthly pedestals. - Points of View.

by Agnes Repplier Found in: Humor Quotes,
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  21  /  33  

I think a good gift for the President would be a chocolate revolver…and since he is so busy, you'd probably read more

I think a good gift for the President would be a chocolate revolver…and since he is so busy, you'd probably have to run up to him real quick and give it to him.

by Jack Handey Found in: Humor Quotes,
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  18  /  27  

Humor is the instinct for taking pain playfully.

Humor is the instinct for taking pain playfully.

by Max Eastman Found in: Humor Quotes,
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  21  /  11  

Humor must not professedly teach and it must not professedly preach, but it must do both if it would live read more

Humor must not professedly teach and it must not professedly preach, but it must do both if it would live forever.

by Mark Twain Found in: Humor Quotes,
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  13  /  24  

Puns are a form of humor with words.rn

Puns are a form of humor with words.rn

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Now I perceive the devil understands Welsh.
And 'tis no marvel he is so humorous.
By'r Lady, read more

Now I perceive the devil understands Welsh.
And 'tis no marvel he is so humorous.
By'r Lady, he is a good musician.

by William Shakespeare Found in: Humor Quotes,
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  32  /  29  

The most wasted day of all is that in which we have not laughed.

The most wasted day of all is that in which we have not laughed.

by Charlie Chaplin Found in: Humor Quotes,
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