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    Humor is richly rewarding to the person who employs it. It has some value in gaining and holding attention, but it has no persuasive value at all.

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  25  /  27  

a Christmas tree .. the perfect gift
for a guy... the plant is already dead
(monologue Dec 10 2003).

a Christmas tree .. the perfect gift
for a guy... the plant is already dead
(monologue Dec 10 2003).

by Jay Leno Found in: Humor Quotes,
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  18  /  27  

Humor is the instinct for taking pain playfully.

Humor is the instinct for taking pain playfully.

by Max Eastman Found in: Humor Quotes,
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  25  /  19  

Humour has justly been regarded as the finest perfection of poetic genius.

Humour has justly been regarded as the finest perfection of poetic genius.

by Thomas Carlyle Found in: Humor Quotes,
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  21  /  29  

If you go parachuting, and your parachute doesn't open, and you friends are all watching you fall, I think a read more

If you go parachuting, and your parachute doesn't open, and you friends are all watching you fall, I think a funny gag would be to pretend you were swimming.

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  35  /  16  

A difference of taste in jokes is a great strain on the affections.

A difference of taste in jokes is a great strain on the affections.

by George Eliot Found in: Humor Quotes,
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  34  /  22  

Unconscious humor.

Unconscious humor.

by Samuel Butler Found in: Humor Quotes,
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  19  /  20  

WARNING: Humor may be hazardous to your illness.

WARNING: Humor may be hazardous to your illness.

by Ellie Katz Found in: Humor Quotes,
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  18  /  18  

A good way to threaten somebody is to light a stick of dynamite. Then you call the guy and hold read more

A good way to threaten somebody is to light a stick of dynamite. Then you call the guy and hold the burning fuse up to the phone. 'Hear that?' you say, 'That's dynamite, baby.'

by Jack Handey Found in: Humor Quotes,
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  22  /  31  

If a kid asks where rain comes from, I think a cute thing to tell him is 'God is crying.' read more

If a kid asks where rain comes from, I think a cute thing to tell him is 'God is crying.' And if he asks why God is crying, another cute thing to tell him is 'Probably because of something you did.'

by Jack Handey Found in: Humor Quotes,
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