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In the end, everything is a gag.
In the end, everything is a gag.
If I lived back in the wild west days, instead of carrying a six-gun in my holster, I'd carry a read more
If I lived back in the wild west days, instead of carrying a six-gun in my holster, I'd carry a soldering iron. That way, if some smart-aleck cowboy said something like 'Hey, look. He's carrying a soldering iron!' and started laughing, and everybody else started laughing, I could just say, 'That's right, it's a soldering iron. The soldering iron of justice.' Then everybody would get real quiet and ashamed, because they had made fun of the soldering iron of justice.
Humor is mankind's greatest blessing.
Humor is mankind's greatest blessing.
A good way to threaten somebody is to light a stick of dynamite. Then you call the guy and hold read more
A good way to threaten somebody is to light a stick of dynamite. Then you call the guy and hold the burning fuse up to the phone. 'Hear that?' you say, 'That's dynamite, baby.'
If you ever catch on fire, try to avoid looking in a mirror, because I bet that will really throw read more
If you ever catch on fire, try to avoid looking in a mirror, because I bet that will really throw you into a panic.
We never respect those who amuse us, however we may smile at their comic powers.
We never respect those who amuse us, however we may smile at their comic powers.
Humor is not a postscript or an incidental afterthought; it is a serious and weighty part of the world's economy. read more
Humor is not a postscript or an incidental afterthought; it is a serious and weighty part of the world's economy. One feels increasingly the height of the faculty in which it arises, the nobility of things associated with it, and the greatness of services it renders. - Oscar Firkins: Memoirs and Letters.
Optimism: The doctrine, or belief, that everything is beautiful, including what is ugly, everything good, especially the bad, and everything read more
Optimism: The doctrine, or belief, that everything is beautiful, including what is ugly, everything good, especially the bad, and everything right that is wrong.
